Emotional Trickery and The Living Dead.

I often forget how self-destructive I can be until I inevitably crumble to pieces.

I have gotten better over the years, however.  I used to just turn into mush and blame everyone around me. Now, I can at least acknowledge how overly-emotional I am being.  Now I can walk away in order to think about the error of my ways before I morph into the crazy that is my true being.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I remember that I can't always be wrong.  Sometimes I am reminded that there are instances in which my emotional reaction is necessary and actually sound.

Tonight, as I type at two in the morning...I am unsure of what I am doing and how I am feeling.  I want to cry or maybe get angry, but I am lost in knowing whether or not that is fair.  

I should try to sleep.  I have been stressed lately and am so exhausted.  Sleep will relax me and perhaps bring me back into logic.  Unless of course I have nightmares including Zombies.  Strangely, this is a common occurrence for me. Most of my Apocalyptic Zombie dreams include me hiding and hiding...waiting and waiting...until finally... a decrepit hand smashes through a blacked-out window or the door caves in from too much pressure.  It is at those exact moments that I wake up.

There are so many interpretations I could unfold for you right now.  But I'll leave that up to your imagination.

Goodnight bloggity.

-Amanda

It has begun!

Hello friends...

I am so happy to have finally started a bloggity.  For so long I have wanted to do this, but for so long I thought it would make me seem like a self-obessed idiot.  

In the end, I decided to begin this bad-boy because I realized I rather enjoy typing out my stupid and completely unimportant thoughts out into the world.  The internet is a wondrous place that contains billions of things and now it also contains some of my thoughts transformed into words typed out on my laptop.  

I also concluded that this was a good idea based upon the fact that it is now summer.  This summer, I hope, will be filled with adventures and plenty of sleep!  And I hope to share all of that with you, my dearest blog-reader(s).  

I would like to preface this blog with some kind of warning...I often ramble about things.  Please understand that by doing this I will be able to explore myself as well as the situations I am in.  I also want to say that I will probably come off as somewhat judgmental.  That is an aspect of myself that I really dislike and I recently learned that in order to change that, I must face that ugly side of me.  I have to be able to look back upon my mistakes in order to properly evolve.  

I just reread all that I just typed.  I realize how pretentious I may seem sometimes.  I want to apologize in advanced for sounding like a douche.  I hope we can laugh together and I also strive for an opportunity to become a happier person.  

In order to change the world around us, we must first look at the person within us. 

Have a fantastic day,

Amanda